Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?


Well now it HAS been a while hasn’t it

I just realized that it has been more than a month since I made any attempt at an entry.  Wow.  What can I say?  My son is now considered autistic (probably Asperger’s) and my husband is suffering from social anxiety.

Seriously?  If anyone had told me that my life would turn out this way, I’d probably have run off and joined the circus much earlier in life.  Sigh.

Every time I think I have a grasp on things, something new springs up.  It is like fixing holes in a dam with my fingers.

All in all, I think I am doing fairly well.  I’ve survived most of the summer…and so have the children.  I will admit that I may take the day off the first day of school and go play on the beach with a margarita…but still.  I’m still here, mostly sane, and only tired 23 of the 24 hours in the day…

I think that the work that my husband and I are doing on our marriage is helping with his social anxiety.  Well, more to the point, I think the improvements in our relationship are helping him COPE with his SAD better.  I truly didn’t realize that his issues went beyond typical geeky shyness, but it does.  Sigh.  I’m trying to help a much as I can, and do the things that are simply too painful for him, but honestly, I really, REALLY need a vacation.  Coastline



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Sophie and her doctors

Well, this is just a quick update because…well, I procrastinated and it is time for bed.  But I realized I hadn’t updated in a while and I do want to keep track of these things.

Sophie had both a dentist visit and a trip to the neurologist recently.  Both were routine and went well.  Actually, aside from screaming like mad through the visit, her dentist visit went really well.  My mother actually took her – the special needs visits are only scheduled on certain days and up to 11:30 am.  My workplace won’t accommodate changes like doctor’s appointments – but they’ve let me work a morning schedule…sigh.  At any rate, the dentist was able this time to get a good look at her teeth and he says they look fine.

The trip to her neurologist was also routine and went like I thought it would – with one surprise.  His assistant is leaving to go back to school.  I love the reason, but I do hate to see her go.  Sophie gets along really well with her and I just like her – she’s good people.   Ah well.  Her doctor left her medications alone again – if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it!  He did order some more tests.  He is concerned about her lack of speech (well, she is five and all she is doing is making some sounds.  Nothing like the babble you hear with most babies.)

Off to bed now, though.  Gotta get up and start the whole thing over tomorrow 🙂

Sweet dreams to anyone out there!



At a loss for words

Well.  I am just speechless.  After all that we’ve been through with our daughter who has Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome, it amazes me that what has (temporarily) derailed me is the “label” that the school is using for my son (who is 6) – we had IEP meetings for both children this week and they said that they consider him on the autism spectrum.

Amazing to me that I’ve done what I’ve needed to, mostly, facing her medical issues but this…this just really pushed me under.  It has taken three days for me to get a grip on myself and stop feeling so sad.  I don’t know why this affected me so badly.  Perhaps it is just that this is the latest in a long string of issues.  That my body is well and truly exhausted.

We also found out that our daughter may have a second, rare syndrome – Rett Syndrome.  That too has been depressing, though I realize that we just had the blood work done, with the doctor’s request for genetic testing for Rett.

Things really have been coming at us thick and fast over the past two weeks.  I am just so tired.