Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

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Moving Forward

Well, we took a step forward today.  I’m trying to focus on the positive and not beat myself up for not doing this sooner.  We had the initial meeting to answer questions about our family and our daughter to get an ABA therapist to come in and work with our daughter.  I’m so excited about the help we’re on the way to getting.  Today’s session was just a question and answer session; now they have to start the process of getting approval for the service from our insurance company – and that could take some time.  Still, to think that we will (hopefully) soon have someone coming in that understands the challenges we face with a child with both epilepsy and autism to help us help HER better is so exciting!

The areas they should be focusing on, according to what we talked about today, include communication and finding out the root cause of behavior issues we’ve had, potty training, and day-to-day tasks like dressing/undressing, putting toys away, etc.  We’ll see how this works out, but it has promise.  I’m just excited at the thought that we could achieve these goals.  I know that that remains to be seen, but this is the most hope that I’ve had in a long, long time.

Hope is a wonderful feeling.


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The end of some things and a new beginning for others

I love January, at least THIS January.  I feel as if a great burden has been lifted off of me with the end of 2013.  My husband and I finally, finally, FINALLY took the steps we needed to move on and out from under the debt we “acquired” during our painful unemployed period seven years ago.  The relief is so intense that I cannot even find words to describe it.  Carrying that weight for that length of time has been painful in the extreme.

We should have done this long ago, but depression is an insidious beast.  When BOTH parents are extremely depressed, it is incredibly difficult to do anything more than basic necessary things.  We kept the children fed, clothed, and sheltered – but many things fell by the wayside.  What I see with the end of December 2013 is the end, finally, of our deep pit, our trial by fire.   What I see with the beginning of 2014 is the bright light of hope, the glistening possibility of life again.

We still have some steps to take in January to finalize the closure but our part of the process should be over on Tuesday.  Phew.

Here is to taking care of business and closing out what has to be finished, and here’s to turning the corner and moving on to a happier, healthier life.  Here’s to finding hope and light again.

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Wow time really flies by

I just realized that my last entry was at the beginning of this month.  Sigh.  I started this blog hoping that it would allow me to vent, get my worries out, and just share my experiences as a special needs Mom, student, etc.  Apparently, I am not doing much sharing.  I can do better – and if I do, I expect that I will get more out of this.

Anyhoo.  What’s been going on in Me-land?  Well, my son went to see the pediatric neurologist that sees his sister.  The kind Dr. (we LOVE him) said that based on what we told him about ourselves and the tabs that he has kept on our son over the years, he doesn’t see any indication of autism.  He thinks that need for social help is basically shyness (much like me and his father).  He said our son may need medication for social anxiety later in life (again, like his father) but other than that, he doesn’t think we should treat him any differently than any other child.

I talked to school after this; they said that based on their concerns (and ours) over his difficulty in socializing, they will continue his IEP as is.  That’s a relief – he does need extra guidance.  And if it helps him, I’m thrilled.  I wish that I had had someone to help me when I was that age – I was INCREDIBLY shy.  Anyway, I’m relieved with both the results from the neurologist and the school.  I intend to work with Alex on conversational skills at home, in the hope that it will help him outside the home.  I have seen several “conversation starter” ideas on-line and I think I might use some of them.  LOL, maybe it will help my husband as well.

As for school for my husband and myself – our classes are going well.  I think that it is really helping keep us motivated in other areas as well.  I think that we are finally working our way out of the pit of depression that we’ve both been in for a long, long time.  I am thoroughly enjoying my writing class on Coursera – I think that it is helping me at work and in my blogs.  My husband is taking some work-related courses and his boss told him in his recent review that he might be able to use those courses as “improvements” for work, and to justify a pay raise for my husband.  That’s ALWAYS good news!

My daughter is doing well – she also had a trip to the neurologist.  She has stabilized again, so he isn’t modifying her medication at all and says that he doesn’t need to see her again for four months, provided nothing changes.  He is going to try again to get genetic testing done because he things it would be worthwhile exploring why two healthy parents have had two children with neurological issues.  So…we shall see.  I’ve got the form for the blood work; now I just need to make arrangements to get it done and get my daughter back to school afterward.

All in all, I think this has been a good October.  The weather is delightful now – crisp, clear evenings and (mostly) sunny days.  The woods are patchwork quilts, draped around this area.  Birds are gathering in flocks and preparing for flight.  I just LOVE this time of year.