Sigh. I know that this is part of life but it sucks. My father left me a message Thursday that he needed to set an appointment for a time to talk when we wouldn’t be interrupted. He said if it sounded ominous, it was. That really started my imagination working overtime. I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) so it takes very little to make me extremely anxious – needless to say, this made me so anxious I wanted to throw up.
Really, now that we’ve talked, I don’t feel any better. Ugh. He has stage 4 lung cancer – stage 4 due to his lymph nodes being involved.
Numb. Then so sad. Then numb. Then nauseated. Then numb. Then I want to curl up with my fuzzy blanket and cry. And I’m 44. I’m having trouble processing it all.