Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

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The end of some things and a new beginning for others

I love January, at least THIS January.  I feel as if a great burden has been lifted off of me with the end of 2013.  My husband and I finally, finally, FINALLY took the steps we needed to move on and out from under the debt we “acquired” during our painful unemployed period seven years ago.  The relief is so intense that I cannot even find words to describe it.  Carrying that weight for that length of time has been painful in the extreme.

We should have done this long ago, but depression is an insidious beast.  When BOTH parents are extremely depressed, it is incredibly difficult to do anything more than basic necessary things.  We kept the children fed, clothed, and sheltered – but many things fell by the wayside.  What I see with the end of December 2013 is the end, finally, of our deep pit, our trial by fire.   What I see with the beginning of 2014 is the bright light of hope, the glistening possibility of life again.

We still have some steps to take in January to finalize the closure but our part of the process should be over on Tuesday.  Phew.

Here is to taking care of business and closing out what has to be finished, and here’s to turning the corner and moving on to a happier, healthier life.  Here’s to finding hope and light again.

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Thanksgiving 2012 – Gratitude

This has been a difficult year for us, but we’ve survived – we’ve even flourished.  I am grateful for so much now – our health, the relationship between me and my husband, the love between the four of us.

I’m grateful for the small steps my daughter has taken this year – learning to point her toes when we put her pants on, opening her mouth willingly when we brush her teeth, holding a toothbrush and trying to brush her teeth.  I’m grateful for the big steps she has made: sitting still in class for 20 minutes or so at a time and paying attention, responding affectionately to people around her, interacting more with people and things around her.

I’m grateful for my son – he’s a sweet, caring, polite, smart, funny, loving boy.  I am grateful for all the progress he’s made and for his newfound LOVE of reading (he’s devouring books faster than I can provide him new ones).  I’m grateful for all the help he’s given me, sometimes even unasked.  I’m grateful for his sunshine-y attitude.

I am grateful for the support of my parents and Andy’s.  That has been a gift beyond price and I cannot thank them enough.


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Ups and downs…

Well my daughter has started a second medicine – Topamax – and at first it seemed to result in MORE seizures, but now that the dosage has increased, she seems to have adjusted and the seizures are less frequent and less…obvious.  She’s doing really well now – well, she’s acting more like a typical 2-year-old, which I guess you could say is both GREAT and …well, trying.  LOL.

We are really, really pleased at her progress and her brother’s – he just got out of his first year of school and he won an award for “Academic Excellence”!

All in all, things seem to be moving in the right direction…after a long, long struggle!