Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

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Is slowly improving

I think I MIGHT keep what’s left of my sanity now.  I am reading for pleasure again, having good family time, experiencing fewer tantrums from my daughter and getting less attitude from my son.  My work schedule is going to go back to normal starting Tuesday (and I will no longer get up and go to work before the birds get up…ugh).

We all survived a really hectic week full of activities designed either to make me pull out my hair or to turn our home upside down.  Next week seems as if it will be markedly better – so maybe I can continue to make improvements and get my life back.

I don’t honestly think I can say much has been normal about my life for 6 years.  And, quite honestly, it will never be what I considered “normal” before all of the major upheavals in my life.  However, I know that I can get life back to real family interaction, a regular work and personal life schedule, and enjoy activities again.  I now have more hope than I have for six years.  It seems as if maybe everything isn’t going to implode after all.

Just having hope feels incredible.

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Home again, home again…

Well, here goes another attempt at this.  I really let this blog slide.  SO much for my initial goals/hopes/etc.

At any rate, I am feeling much more motivated these days so I am determined to try again.  I have stopped taking my antidepressants – this is the second time I’ve done so, but this time, I actually feel better WITHOUT them!  Yay!  I’m clearer, more connected to people around me, and less suicidal!  All good things, I must say.  I think it was time to stop.

I’m exercising again and generally trying to get more rest.  I’m eating better and doing a better job caring for myself.  Yes, I do get caught up in computer games, some days more than I should, but I’m also doing the housework more frequently, cooking more, and just doing a better job of managing my life.  I hope I’ve stumbled back on the right path, after being off of it for so very long.

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Little by little, one travels far…

Little by little, one travels far.

J. R. R. Tolkien

I am going to write that where I can see it every day.  I seem to have a tendency to try to get where I’m going faster, in life, in the car – apparently everywhere.  I’m impatient to get back to good times, to get back to “normal” whatever that is – or was.

Well, you know what?  Things are never going to be the way they were – that isn’t how life works.  I need to remember that no matter how small the steps I’m taking seem, I WILL get somewhere.  I WILL make progress…if I keep going.  I need to keep my focus and not get distracted or discouraged.