Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

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Well January 30 is the date. She will have the g-tube put in and stay overnight in the hospital. I am sure that it will go fine and she won’t have any problems, but as a mother, you just can’t help but worry. I wish so much that this wasn’t necessary, but she clearly needed the ng-tube that she has had now for over six months. She has put on at least 10 pounds and is still very small for her age. At least she’s improving.

There isn’t much else going on. I did spend four hours at what my husband calls a “doc in a box” (urgent care). Turns out I have bronchitis. Sigh. I can’t say I’m surprised; I get it once or twice a year it seems. At least I have medicine to help get rid of it and deal with the annoying cough.

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2019 in Review


  • Sophie’s health and hospital stays
  • Job stress
  • My breast cancer

Big events

  • Hospital stays
  • Loss of Rhonda, my dear friend, suddenly
  • My son started high school – and now is taller than me

Good things about 2019

  • Ladies’ Weekends
  • Trips to the library
  • End of chemo!

All in all, it was a rough year. There was more negative than positive in it. I’m not sorry to see it go. I do see areas that I can improve in my life in 2020 so I guess that’s a good thing.

I need to take better care of myself. More exercise,. more sleep, more getting out – and less stress.

I need to manage my health issues and those of my daughter better; all those doctor’s appointments don’t arrange themselves or provide their own reminders in a timely fashion.

I need to figure out what makes me happy and put more of it in my life. I’ve been too focused on the negative and the hard stuff and I’ve lost sight of goals and of my overall well being.

I can do this. Here’s to a healthier, happier 2020 and beyond.

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Ah the new year

What a start to a new year.  It has to improve from here.  I started feeling bad on 12/31.  I thought, “Oh no.  Not just in time for New Year’s Eve.”  Well yes, actually.  I was hoarse and my eyes were burning but I did indeed manage to stay up until 12:01 am 1/1/18 with my 12-year-old son, much to his delight.

I have gone to the local urgent care center three times since 1/1.  I’ve seen an eye doctor.  I FINALLY got a strong antibiotic yesterday.  And finally, I think I’ve turned the corner.  In this process, I have had the worst case of pink eye that I’ve ever seen or had, had a painful cough.  I am SO tired of this – I don’t have time for this – lol, or the energy.

One thing I’ve learned from this is that I need to speak up, repeatedly if necessary, until I am heard.  When I went to the urgent care center the first time, I told them I had an eye infection and a sinus infection.  All they gave me was an antibiotic, which the eye doctor later told me would have done nothing.  They ignored the sinus infection, and I was too miserable from the eye infection to think about it at the time.  Next time, I’m going to repeat myself firmly until I’m heard!  I know my body better than they do!

At any rate, I’ve only had three doses of the antibiotic but it definitely seems to be working.  Such a relief.  After eighteen days of being fairly miserable for one reason or another, the idea of feeling normal again is exciting.  Being me might be a good thing again!