Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?


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Developments

Well this has been a good week.  Our son is adjusting well to 6th grade and more responsibility.  He has gone back to bike riding, much to my relief, and has asked to be allowed to ride further afield, but still in the neighborhood.  We’re in a closed neighborhood and there are plenty of places for him to ride safely so, with some conditions, we agreed that he could ride around our complex.

In addition, he has started taking out the recyclables (for either money or extra computer time, depending on his mood) and sometimes the trash.  He has also suddenly started making his own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and lunch overall, at least on the weekend.  All in all, he is suddenly acting older.  It is a good thing, and I know there is still room for growth, but I am proud of him.  And pleased.

What else has happened this week?  Well, truthfully, nothing exciting.  I’ve adjusted my schedule to allow me to be home to see our son off to school, since middle school starts later than elementary.  This is rather nice, though I currently feel rushed when I start work because I feel like I’m late even though I’m not.  So, there is a little adjustment going on but it is good overall.  I’ve been able to have doctor’s appointments, work a little over my schedule, and run errands this week., so I have felt more productive.   I’ve still tried to allow myself some freedom to enjoy the peace and quiet and time to myself each day because over the summer that was SO rare.

 

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A Successful Start to Middle School

Ah the start of school!  I am much happier about it than either of my children, I suspect, but the first day is over and all is well.  My son, 11, just started middle school (6th grade) and was a little concerned about the new school and all that goes with it – changing classes, lockers, and so on.  He came home from school relieved.  I can’t honestly say that he’s enthusiastic about school, but he at least isn’t worried about it per se.

As for my darling daughter, the whirlwind, she too had a good day.  She had one meltdown in the afternoon, but all things considered (such as all the meltdowns she had last year), I have to consider that an excellent start to the year.  Also, she ate a tremendous dinner so I assume that they had her really working hard today.  She’s in 4th grade, in special education.

All in all, I think today was a good day.  I had time to myself to get some things done that needed doing.  The kids both had a good day.  And now it is time to rest and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.


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Slow progress is still progress, right?

Well, I’ve accomplished one thing in the past month – I’ve gotten my daughter into Project Lifesaver, a program to help bring people with cognitive issues home if they run off.  I’m so relieved – I mean, I hope I never need it but knowing that she has an anklet to allow the police to track her if she disappears is such a relief.  Her anklet was put on by a very nice policeman, who checked to make sure it fit just right.  He gave me all sorts of information on the program, and explained what information the police need if I ever need to call them.

At least I am starting to make progress in the projects on my to-do list:  (a) Project Lifesaver, (b) EDCD waiver for Sophie to help pay for expenses and possibly get respite care, and (c) get our life insurance up to a reasonable level and write wills.  Those are the big three and now I’ve accomplished the first.

I feel like I’ve been in a fog for a very long time.  I am sure that it has been depression, despite being on antidepressants.  It is amazing what a deep whole depression can be and how much effort it takes to dig out from it.  Escaping its grasp is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I expect it will be a lifetime fight, just based on our circumstances.  I try hard to be kind to myself when I take a few steps back and celebrate times like now when I make progress.