Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?


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Two Weeks of Summer Left and All’s Well

Well, things have improved.  I don’t feel as down as I did last time I posted.  I suppose it is a cycle.  If I can just keep putting one foot in front of the other, things usually get better.

In two weeks, school starts again and my work schedule will go back to normal.  I imagine that getting back to a normal routine will be good for all of us.  There are things I need to take care of that are much easier to deal with when the kids are in school.  I know our daughter, bless her heart, will do much better once she readjusts to a school schedule.  Naturally, our son (12) is NOT counting the days – lol, he lives for an unscheduled life.  Little does he know, he doesn’t have a whole lot left of that – and I’m going to let him enjoy it as long as possible.

I’m sleeping better and imbibing less alcohol – not that I really drank all that much, but still cutting back has made a noticeable difference.  I’m not exercising like I want, but that too should change once school gets back in session.  At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.  Maybe I will work on that this week.  I should, I know.

I went to the library this weekend.  I am trying to get back into some of the things I used to enjoy: reading, writing, crocheting.  I just stopped doing them a long while back.  I’m sure it was depression.  And I’ve never really picked any of them back up.  I think it would be good for me to restart those activities.

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And summer begins

Well, things have been fairly quiet lately, which is surprising as the kids got out of school for the summer last Friday.  It looks like it will be a pretty quiet summer for the most part.  Alex and I will take one trip to Alabama to see my stepmother; I’m sure we’ll see some sights and do some swimming, as well as visit family.  That’s the big excitement this summer – no other trips likely.

Tomorrow, our dear Sophie has another EEG.  Sigh.  I know that it is a valuable test, but I hate this process.  She normally is asleep by 9 – I have to keep her awake until midnight.  Then we get to get her up at 5 am.  And she can’t eat anything for 12 hours prior to the EEG.  Fun, fun, fun – there’s nothing quite like a hungry, sleep-deprived child to really make the day fun and exciting.  Sigh.   Ah well.  It will be over before I know it, I know – and I know it could be worse.  LOL knowing that does not make this process better.

Sophie is going to summer camp this week and she LOVES it.  It is a camp for disabled children and adults, so she should be able to continue to go as long as we get applications in in a timely fashion.  They do arts, music, and other activities plus she gets to swim for a while at the end of the day, every day, so she really looks forward to this camp.  She goes three or four weeks every year.  Normally it is four, but I took too long getting my application in this year.

There is also summer school for Sophie.  This year, though, they shaved two weeks off of it.  I think someone, somewhere, missed the point of summer school for special needs children – at least some of the point.  One thing I liked about summer school was that it kept there from being a huge gap between one school year and the next.  Well, now there is going to be a big gap between school year, summer school, and school year.  In addition, she does better with a routine.  With a six-week summer school it was easier to keep her in a routine.  Well, there’s not much I can do about it; I am sure this is a result of budget issues within the school system.


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Sigh

I am feeling down and I’m not sure why.  I am suddenly very interested in what my high school boyfriend is doing and I have no idea why – and why now?  Am I lonely?  Am I just feeling nostalgic?  And what triggered this?  Sigh.  I don’t know any of these things and it is frustrating.

I don’t feel depressed.  I actually feel sad.  And sadly, I don’t know how to cope with it.  I suppose that that is because I am on antidepressants and I think they cover a lot of my “down” times.  I don’t know.  I think I would feel better if I knew what was causing this, what the problem was.  At least if you know what the problem is, you have a better chance of fixing it.

Maybe it is that my birthday is in two days.  I will be 47 – gasp.  Well, it is better than NOT being 47!  And that isn’t a “milestone” – like 45 or 50.  I don’t know.  Aaargh.  I just want to feel better than this.

Well, this too shall pass.  The weather is supposed to be beautiful this weekend so maybe I will be able to get out and get some sunshine.