In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth, or to step back into safety.
I have decided that I need to step forward into growth. Finally, finally, finally we have reached a point in our lives where the storms have calmed (for the moment). I now have energy for daily life, and then a bit more. It has been a long time since I felt up to doing anything beyond what was necessary for daily life. I cannot even begin to describe what a relief it is to feel like moving forward.
Some time ago, I set up a blog as a sister to this one for self-development. I never really figured that anyone would follow it, nor do I think anyone will now…lol. It is more for me, a commonplace book of sorts for my self-improvement and self-development work. Today I actually started a personal development plan, the first step of many I hope to continue my personal growth. I finally feel healthy enough to stretch myself.
I know life is always full of change, of storms, of ups and downs, but sometimes it takes a lull in the storms for you to get your breath, gather yourself, and stride back into the world.
As for my family, things have quieted down a bit. I have finally gotten back to taking our little miss out for walks. I found a harness/backpack that works to keep her from running off, at least for now. It is really cute, with a little pink owl on it. It is also very useful to put a few necessities in for her when we go out: snacks, diapers, wipes, sippy cup. I also have gotten the handicap license plates for both cars. As hard as it was for me to see her diagnosis on the forms for DMV, I know that this is going to be a big help – not having to walk very far in parking lots does really reduce the danger to her and the fright to me.
Another recent development that has helped me feel as if I am moving back into a lull: my husband is seeking counseling to deal with his depression. That is SUCH a huge relief; it is incredibly difficult to deal with my own depression, PLUS his.
All in all, I think life is getting back on track and I am finally starting to feel mostly human again.