Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

New beginnings

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I’ve been sitting here tonight, feeling stressed and a bit sad.  I’ve been focusing on the fact that my daughter has apparently had a number of seizures this week and I’ve lost a friend.

Well, you know what?  Today is the first day of December.  I need to grieve the loss of my friend – then let go.  I need to hold on to the fact that my daughter’s condition – well, it could be much worse.  If her seizures have returned, then we will talk to her neurologist and possibly go through an adjustment in her medication.  At any rate, we’ll do what we need to do.

I need to grieve what I need to grieve, but not dwell in it.  I AM sad.  I hate losing a dear friend and I hate seizures.  I hate that I cannot fix this situation for my daughter – or make it easier for my son, for that matter.  It hurts – all of it hurts – more than I can say.  The loss of a friend hurts because true, loyal friends are rare – and my daughter’s situation hurts because I love her so much.

But dwelling in the hurt and the grief does no good.  And I would rather love and have to bear the hurt, than shut myself off anymore.

 

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