Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

He who hesitates is lost

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I’m trying to remember that, and keep up my momentum in trying to get my life back on track and heading in a positive direction.  But some days, it is just so easy to just…give in, stop, stop fighting the currents.

What do you do when your spouse isn’t as concerned with moving forward?  Or with  getting out of the doldrums that you’ve both been in for years, ever since losing your house?  I’m doing my best, but I feel as if he drags me back down whenever he feels threatened by my changes and my growth.

I will give him credit – I do see some changes, particularly in the last month and a half.  He is eating better and has stopped drinking alcohol completely, both of which have improved a number of areas of both of our lives.  But our overall relationship is no better, despite changes that I’ve made and I worry about that.  I can only do so much.  I don’t expect marriage to always be 50-50 …but I cannot do it all, all the time.

Sigh.

Well, I’m going to keep trying to improve myself and my home life with the kids.  He can participate or not, his choice.

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