Well, actually – I suppose I’m returning to at least one that I thought I had achieved. I have decided that I need to give myself more time – that is, I need to do something nice for myself everyday again. I have apparently just stopped taking care of myself, stopped doing what I need to do to restore myself so that I can take good care of my family.
Friends of mine rescued me this weekend, swooping in just as the last of my strength gave out. They took me out, fed me and comforted me, listened to me and let me vent, let me get some of the poison, the fear, the anger, and the resentment out. They took some of the load off of my shoulders for a while and let me catch my breath.
So…I am, with prodding occasionally from my friends, going to do better. I am going to set aside time for myself every day. I am adding myself to my “to do list” – adding a block of time, even if it is short, to my schedule that is all mine.
In addition, I am also going to find a therapist. I believe that I need help now, and I believe that my medication needs changing. So I have determined that, like it or not, I need to seek someone to help me though this, someone with training. We’ll see how this goes.