Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

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Survey time

A friend of a friend of mine is conducting a survey.  He needs a wider audience than just his friends so that the data gathered represents a wider selection of ethnicities, political beliefs, religious backgrounds and the like.  It is just a short survey, located here (pops), if anyone reading this feels like helping a guy out.

Thanks in advance!

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Trying to keep moving…

But it is so hard. I’ve been trying to get back into keeping this blog going. I type faster than I write so it is easier for me to do this right now than keep a paper journal. Still, I keep having the life and energy sucked right out of me. Every time I think I’m getting back to a better state in life, something else happens to kick the feet right out from under me.

But, as my family keeps reminding me, it could always be worse. (Thanks for the thoughts, folks, belittling my problems doesn’t make it easier for me to live with them!)

Anyway, I may gripe a bit, but I’m going to try to keep this going. It is good for me to have a place to write, to vent, to complain. It is far better to get all of this out and release the grief, the pressure, the depression.

On a different note, I would love to know how I can be this tired and still not be able to get to sleep… I think my mind is just racing when I go to bed, but it doesn’t seem to be anything specific.  I suppose it is just the general stress of my life, but it is certainly TERRIBLY inconvenient.  My two small children will not care that I was up until 1 am this morning, when they wake up between 5:30 and 6:30 this morning.  Sigh.  What is going on … and how do I fix it?

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sleep…I need it, I want it, I can’t seem to have it

For the past 3-4 nights, I’ve been really, really tired when I went to bed.  And yet, sleep took a long, long time to come.  That might not be so bad except for the fact that my daughter has woken up at 3:30, 4:30 and 5:30 am those mornings.  Sigh.  She did go back to sleep for a while the first two, but not so much that last night.

I don’t know what my problem is.  Yes, I have been staying up a bit later than I probably should have (this is the ONLY peace and quiet and “me” time I get) but why can’t I wind down?  What is keeping me tossing and turning?  I am going through stressful times right now, but some of the pressure has been eased.  I thought that would help with the sleep situation, but it seems to have gotten worse.

I’ve got to do something; I simply can’t go on at this rate.  Ugh.