Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

Family – is it really supposed to make you crazy?

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Well, we went home for the holiday this past week…and I am beginning to think they might be right about “you can’t go home again”.  I swear my family is trying to make me crazy.  In three separate conversations, my parents-in-law, who are normally great and very supportive, cornered me and went on and on about our financial state, my husband’s job situation, and what he and/or I should be doing.  Three separate conversations over six days – and always when my husband wasn’t around.

Now, I’ve come to expect these things from my family; it still annoys me and stresses me, but I’ve expected it and started avoiding being alone with them.  I didn’t expect it from my parents-in-law.

I had so hoped that the holidays would be a good escape to the comfort of family.  Our situation is stressful 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I had hoped to get away from it a little.  After all, what could we accomplish over Thanksgiving?  Not much, in truth.  But apparently the parents thought differently.  I finally told the parents-in-law point blank that my anti-depressant wasn’t working anymore and that I thought I’d see my doctor about it.  After that, they kind of backed off.  I really don’t know what they thought they were going to accomplish.  I know they meant well and that they are just worried about me, but all of this coming at me from all directions (except from my brother- and sister-in-law, God bless them) is going to drive me right over the edge.

Add that to the fact that I didn’t sleep well all week and you’ve got the makings of a miserable week.  We’re supposed to go back to see everybody at Christmas.  I don’t think I can deal with it, but if we don’t go, they will just come to us.  Sigh.


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