I just had a sudden break-through that is actually a little frightening. One of my goals is to learn to ask for help when I need it. Ok. I have recognized that I have a problem in this area. That is a good first step. But today – in fact, just a few minutes ago – I realized just how much of a problem I have with this in my life.
I was sitting at my computer and thinking how grateful I was that my husband went to the store today. I really was dreading it. Then it hit me. He’s my husband. Why shouldn’t I ask him to help me when I’m struggling? When I decided on my goal, I hadn’t even been thinking of my husband. I’ve been married for years (over 10); why has it taken me so long to realize that I can and should ask him for help? Why is it so hard for me to ask for help? I think I’m afraid to appear “vulnerable”. It is really sad that I don’t even want to appear vulnerable to my husband. Really.
I think I’ve got motivation now to seek counseling as soon as we are in a better financial situation. I think that I have issues that I need to explore.
And yes, I’m going to ask for help now when I realize that I’m struggling. It is ok to do that, particularly when people want to help me.