My situation is certainly well known in the family, with the birth of a baby and my husband’s job situation being uppermost in most of the family’s minds, apparently. I know that they love us and are worried about us but they certainly can’t be any more worried than we are. The situation is getting out of hand though.
You see, I decided to do something I thought my grandmothers (and my husband’s grandmother) would appreciate. I have started sending notes with pictures of their great-grandchildren in them monthly. This was the second month. Now this month’s note was brief; after all, nothing has really changed that much since last month’s note – particuarly in the job area. My grandmother called my father today – mind you, he lives in Alabama, far from me – because she got my note. It seems my handwriting wasn’t as neat as it usually is so she’s worried about me.
Well, let’s see. That could be caused by my carpal tunnel syndrome, sheer tiredness, trying to write fast because I never have more than 5 uninterrupted minutes, the fact that I have 2 children who need my attention (usually at the same time)…and so on. I pointed all this out to my father, and of course he knew her reasons for the concern were…a bit odd. (I will add, in her defense, that she is 94 and her mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be.) Still…to have my father call me because his mother is worried because I wrote a note and it was messy? Sigh.
It just seems like the calls are never ending. Add to this the fact that my mother called yesterday and said that she and my stepfather are bringing the daughter of a friend to DC to see some sites. She said, “Since things aren’t good for you right now, we’re going to try to find a hotel that we can afford. We would like to come out and see you though.” Keep in mind that she’s called once to ask if the three of them could stay with the four of us for three days while they site-see. Ok, that would be four adults and three children (one a three-month-old baby) in a townhouse that is crowded already. This is her “guilt-trip” maneuver. The first request got no where; I was shocked that she thought it would be a good idea to overcrowd my house when I’m stressed and depressed and trying hard to care for two kids. Now, I’m pretty sure she’s trying to get around my defenses and make me feel bad that they’re going to have to get a hotel room. This just makes me irritable. She’s done the guilt-trip thing my whole life – less successfully since I’ve been an adult and recognized it, but she keeps trying.
I love my family – at a distance, right now.