Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

I hope…

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I hope things improve soon.  I don’t know how they will though.  We’ve come to the end of yet another week and still no job prospects.  Just how long can this continue?  How long can it go on before we have to sell our townhouse and move in with my parents-in-law or something?

I hope that my husband is ok.  I’ve encouraged him to go to the doctor and talk about depression but I cannot make him go.  I also cannot conduct his job search for him.  He’ll be forty this year; he’s a grown man and he knows what he needs to do.  All I can do is be as supportive as possible.  I just am not sure about the best way to do that.

I hope that I’ve chosen the right path with college.  I’ve been going back to school to finish my degree and I’ve decided to be a computer programmer.  I wonder if I chose the right field.  I certainly seem to be doing better in school than ever before, but what if I get out and can’t get a job?

I hope that I’m doing a good job with my children.  I know that I’m not doing as well as I would if I wasn’t depressed but I am truly trying to do the best I can.  I am trying as hard as I can to do my best for them; I worry about the effects of all this stress on them, but I suppose at 2 years old and 3 months old that it really won’t impact their lives at all.  I just worry about them.

I hope that we will have better times soon.  I know that life is cyclical.  I know that there are usually ups and downs in life.  This just seems to be the largest downward swing I’ve experienced.  Surely things must get better eventually…


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