Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

In the depth of winter…


In the depth of winter, I learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert Camus

I am going to keep the above quote to look at from time to time for a while.  I am feeling cold and alone right now.  My friends have pretty much abandoned me since I had my second child and my family seems to not be what I thought it was.  My parents-in-law do their best to make me feel loved and welcome in their home, but knowing that you are not important to your parents (and a loved stepparent) really is odd.  That goes so far against what I was brought up to believe.

My husband loves me.  My parents-in-law love me.  My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are great and they go out of their way to spend time with me and my husband.  So I do have another family now.   I need to focus on these things, not the negatives.

I am finding that I don’t need a father figure like I used to.  I’m mature now.  I’ve been married for 16 years.  I have two children and a husband around me.  In me is a strength of which I am just beginning to discover the depths.  I can let this get to me and hurt me and change my outlook, or I can look at this as his problem and do my best to not let it scar me.  How I handle this is my decision and how I handle it will determine the effect of all this on my relationship with my mother.


2 thoughts on “In the depth of winter…

  1. That’s a very beautiful quote.
    And I truly hope you can go beyond your problems. You seem to have a bright enough, warm enough, colorful enough summer in you to achieve this n___n.

    I hope you don’t find intrusive my comment.
    I’ll be praying for you and a solution to your troubles!


  2. Thank you for the encouragement – I certainly hope so. After a few days of thought I am beginning to think I can…

    And I’ll take all the help I can get! 😛


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