Being Me…

and discovering that that is quite the roller coaster ride. Wanna come along?

Getting to know me…

2 Comments

August 12, 2007

I’ve decided that I need to get to know myself. I’ve realized, at 37, that I’m not sure what makes me happy, what I enjoy, what I like, what I don’t like…and so on. Obviously, I know a few things for each but I’ve spent my life being “a good girl”, a “good daughter”, listening to the family and taking their advice and guidance. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but too much of that isn’t good. Maybe this is a “mid-life crisis”; I don’t know. At any rate, I’ve decided it is time to get to know myself.

What prompted this? I’m not really sure. I suppose it was a lot of things that happened at once. I have a two-year-old and a two-month-old. Their birthdays are literally days apart. Before I got pregnant with my oldest, I was laid off from my job (yet another layoff) and was at loose ends. I decided to go back to college and finish my degree – big change. So of course, I promptly got pregnant as well. While pregnant with my firstborn, an aunt died suddenly – within weeks of being diagnosed with lung cancer. An uncle died unexpectedly within months of my son’s birth. While pregnant with my youngest, another aunt (well great-aunt) died. Then, within a month or so of my daughter’s birth, my husband’s grandfather died of cancer. So many changes, so little time…oh, yes, one more huge change: my husband lost his job in July of last year and is still out of work.

Sigh.

I guess I feel like I’ve lost myself.  I have decided to keep a blog as opposed to a paper journal  through this process.  I type faster than I write so I’m hoping that I can get my entries typed in the short bits of time I have with a two-month old.  We’ll see if I can keep this going.  We’ll see if I actually like the arrangement of a blog versus a paper journal.   And for now, I’m going to leave this accessible to others.  I doubt that anyone else will find it of interest, but you never know.

Here starts the journey.

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2 thoughts on “Getting to know me…

  1. I commend your efforts to get to know yourself. Many people go through life changes without stopping to think that they dont REALLY know the person who has been with them all of their lives: that person in the mirror. Look deep and look closely. When I found myself at 35 yrs old, I went out to get a huge tattoo and left a corporate life to start my own business. That was a year and a half ago. Dont be scared of the answers….just be scared that you are not asking the questions. “Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” So you can be who you want to be. ~~Diana, Goddess.

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  2. Thank you for your comment. I have seen people that seem to be sleep-walking through life and I don’t want to be one of them. Really, what a waste! You only get one chance at this!

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