Being Me…

And I’m feeling…well, optimistic isn’t quite it.  I guess it is more like I’m feeling productive.  I submitted my resume for three jobs last night, I’ve got plans to continue the job search this week, I also have plans involving both children.  I feel like I’ve got purpose and direction this week.

I guess that that is really part of my problem lately.  I haven’t felt like I had any direction at all.  It is possible to give that to myself, I just have to work on it.  I’ve had a “to-do” list and I generally do an okay job of following it and checking things off, but perhaps I need to really focus on what needs to be done.  I need to motivate myself to get up and get moving.

It is easy to say that, to recognize the need for motivation.  How do you actually go about motivating yourself when you have no concrete schedule?  I guess I need to try making a concrete schedule.  Just because I don’t currently have one doesn’t mean that I can’t make one.  If I can just get up and moving and get started on the things that I need to do, I think I’d feel motivated and encouraged by seeing progress.

I think I’m going to start by trying to get up at the same time every day and go to bed at the same time.  Hopefully, that will regulate my sleep a bit and get my body back into a normal  rhythm and give me more energy.

Next, I am going to break down some of my projects and goals into smaller steps and work on them every day.  I think if I can start checking things off and see some progress, I will be encouraged to keep going.

Last, as I achieve the goals that I have, I’m going to reward myself.  The rewards may not be big and they may not involve spending money (or they may, depending) but I am sure that I can find something to reward myself with that will make me want to keep going.

I feel slightly silly working this out this way, but if it helps me get myself moving again, it can’t be bad.  I hope this works.  I really need to get motivated again.

This week, I need to make arrangements for getting my son’s hearing checked.  I also need to call about getting professional pictures taken.  I need to actually take some more pictures myself and email them to family.

I need to clean the house and vacuum.  I’d like to cook several meals in the crockpot, so that I don’t have to worry about actually cooking dinner at dinnertime!  Doing some laundry might also be a good thing.  I ought to check on the jobs that I interviewed for; I do have contact information for both companies after all.

I need to get back into working on crafts and reading.  I’ve been rather tired lately and I’ve just done the bare necessities - that doesn’t include much fun stuff.  I need to get back into creative things; I always feel odd when I’m not crafting.  It would also help with stress relief.

I need to continue to journal and blog - both things seem to be helping me, though in different ways.

I have been keeping a paper journal over the past month.  I’ve been writing in it mainly at night because that is when I have the most uninterrupted time.  My goal has been to keep it in the morning because I love to start the day with a little “me” time, and it helps me organize my thoughts for the day.  I don’t think that is going to work, but I did realize that since I type faster than I write, I might be able to blog each morning and perhaps this could serve the same purpose.  So…

As of today, I’m going to try to come up with one entry per morning.  Some may be complete “garbage” - if I can’t really come up with something even reasonably organized, if I’m just rambling about a lot of nonsense, or if I just think it is too personal.  Those days, I’m simply going to make the entry private.  Others that relate to the purpose of this goal or are more general, I’ll continue to post.

We shall see how this goes and if I can make time each morning.  I really need to get more organized with my time during the day.  I will have to do so if I get a job, but it would probably be good if I start the process before I get a job!

Well - time to make breakfast for my son!  The day is starting…