I think perhaps I understand now…
Well, I think the emotional upheaval I’ve been going through recently is actually not abnormal, nor is it a sign that I’m losing my mind – no, really!
I think three years of being on an antidepressant then coming off of it has been catching up with me and I am simply having to adjust to being off the medicine. Yes, I went off of it carefully and deliberately and yes, that was definitely the right decision. I am apparently just completely unused to FEELING just about EVERYTHING.
I’m doing much better now and things seem to be settling out a bit. I think that I am responding much more normally to things both good and bad now; we shall see if that lasts! (lol – family visit coming up in a day and a half!)
Being me…hasn’t been much fun lately
And I think I’ve figured out why. Now that things are improving in our lives in different ways, I think the three years of really intense stress and loss is catching up with me. I think my body is finally making me pay for bottling things up, for pushing my fear and hurt and emotion aside to do what had to be done. At least I know what’s going on now.
Now to figure out how to deal with it, let it out, and still manage to get things done. After all, work and life aren’t going to stop while I fall apart!
Home again, home again…
Well, here goes another attempt at this. I really let this blog slide. SO much for my initial goals/hopes/etc.
At any rate, I am feeling much more motivated these days so I am determined to try again. I have stopped taking my antidepressants – this is the second time I’ve done so, but this time, I actually feel better WITHOUT them! Yay! I’m clearer, more connected to people around me, and less suicidal! All good things, I must say. I think it was time to stop.
I’m exercising again and generally trying to get more rest. I’m eating better and doing a better job caring for myself. Yes, I do get caught up in computer games, some days more than I should, but I’m also doing the housework more frequently, cooking more, and just doing a better job of managing my life. I hope I’ve stumbled back on the right path, after being off of it for so very long.
