Being Me…

You know, I’m really, really, REALLY tired of ERs.  No offense to the folks who work there - the people I talked to last night/this morning were great.  I’m just tired of being there in the wee hours.  I made a run to the ER last night with our sweet daughter at 9:30 last night and was there until 3:30 this morning.  Sigh.  She has had multiple “seizure-like” episodes this week, once a day until yesterday when she had THREE.

Our daughter (10 months as of two days ago) seems to be doing ok this morning.  My husband says that she hasn’t had any episodes this morning, which is good.  She’s calm and resting a bit on the floor right now.

Our son (2-1/2) is, thankfully, oblivious of all of this.  He slept through all the excitement and life is going on as normal for him.  Yay for normalcy!

I feel like I’ve been run over.  I was in bed around 4, then back up around 5 to feed little miss, then back in bed.  Ah well… this too shall pass.  She has an appointment tomorrow at 11 am with a pediatric neurologist and we’ re ALL hoping to know something more after that.

Well, having made the decision to move home, even though we haven’t really started the process that that will involve, has relieved some pressure.  I know it is temporary, since it will be stressful to actually move, but at least I have a sense that we are progressing, focusing, trying to make things better.  I feel like we will be able to get back on our feet sooner, like there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I know this won’t be easy, but at least we are DOING SOMETHING.

I went and had pictures taken today of our youngest - her first and certainly late in coming.  It felt so good.  And she was on her best behavior and put on quite a charming show for the photographer.  I think the pictures are going to be wonderful.  I can hardly wait to get them but it will be about a week and a half or so.  I’m sorry I put this off; it has been so hard to get motivated lately.  I hope that is going to change.

I’m hanging in here.  I have a call in to the doctor to discuss the results of having my son evaluated.  I know that I need to have his hearing checked.  I don’t know where else we’re going from here; that makes this a bit unnerving.  I’m accustomed to being more in control and my life right now is apparently completely OUT of control.  Scary stuff.

So, now I’m waiting. Waiting for the doctor to call me back.  Waiting for the next meeting about my son.  Waiting, waiting, waiting…