Here we go…

I suspect I’m really about to “be me”. I’m headed to therapy – well, at least an initial visit – on Monday.

I wonder what I will find out…and whether it will help.

Sigh…just what I needed…

My computer died.

Well, it has been hijacked by Micro $oft.  Its a long story and it thoroughly annoys me so I’m not going to retell it right now – I’d like to be able to sleep soon!

Suffice it to say, my husband and I are sharing a computer – kind of.  It really doesn’t work well, since we don’t have much time as it is to spend on the computer.

I hope to get this cleared up soon, but heaven only knows if it is possible.  So, entries may be a bit sporadic.

I hate that.  I hate having outside forces force that on me.  Aargh.

I don’t like me very much right now…

I guess that gives me room to grow…apparently quite a lot of room, but hey.

I’m trying to focus on the positive and not so much on the negative, but life has been rough lately.  I’ve been struggling.  I always have thought that I was a strong person.  I’ve always thought that I could deal with anything.  But I’m having a hard time.  I’m having a hard time dealing with little things now.  I’m having a hard time focusing.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m capable of this; I always used to think that God wouldn’t give me more than I could bear, but now I wonder.  Realistically, I think I’m just tired and stressed.  I’m not eating like I should or taking care of myself properly overall.  I know that intellectually, but…I wonder if I can do this.

Sigh.  I’m sure that I’ll pull myself together and be fine later this week, but…

Well, I suppose this is my way of venting.  I don’t have close friends right now and I can’t really talk with the family…so I just need to let this out so it isn’t festering.