Being me…hasn’t been much fun lately
And I think I’ve figured out why. Now that things are improving in our lives in different ways, I think the three years of really intense stress and loss is catching up with me. I think my body is finally making me pay for bottling things up, for pushing my fear and hurt and emotion aside to do what had to be done. At least I know what’s going on now.
Now to figure out how to deal with it, let it out, and still manage to get things done. After all, work and life aren’t going to stop while I fall apart!
Yay! Another year under the belt!
Well, ok, I do realize that getting older IS better than the alternative…
Nonetheless, I’ve decided to mark this occasion as the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday! I’m thinking of coloring my hair too – too much gray coming in now!
Things are … well, they are going. I have good days and bad, some days where I feel normal and fairly well-balanced and others where I feel NOTHING is going my way. I suppose that that describes most people, but this is worse than I’ve ever experienced. It is like being on an out of control roller coaster. Still, today was good – I am tired but not exhausted. I had a terrific lunch with my husband. The evening with the kids wasn’t a stress-filled one. The day was beautiful and my husband and I managed to take a brief walk in the afternoon.
All in all, I think I can go to bed and feel fairly good about the direction the day went in; I think I can do it and not fear tomorrow so much. That’s a good feeling these days; frankly, I’ve been having days when it was just depressing to think of getting out of bed!
Sigh…just what I needed…
My computer died.
Well, it has been hijacked by Micro $oft. Its a long story and it thoroughly annoys me so I’m not going to retell it right now – I’d like to be able to sleep soon!
Suffice it to say, my husband and I are sharing a computer – kind of. It really doesn’t work well, since we don’t have much time as it is to spend on the computer.
I hope to get this cleared up soon, but heaven only knows if it is possible. So, entries may be a bit sporadic.
I hate that. I hate having outside forces force that on me. Aargh.
