Being Me…

Exploring what that means…

I think perhaps I understand now…

Well, I think the emotional upheaval I’ve been going through recently is actually not abnormal, nor is it a sign that I’m losing my mind – no, really!

I think three years of being on an antidepressant then coming off of it has been catching up with me and I am simply having to adjust to being off the medicine.  Yes, I went off of it carefully and deliberately and yes, that was definitely the right decision.  I am apparently just completely unused to FEELING just about EVERYTHING.

I’m doing much better now and things seem to be settling out a bit.  I think that I am responding much more normally to things both good and bad now; we shall see if that lasts! (lol – family visit coming up in a day and a half!)

July 15, 2009 Posted by mmiller | Depression, Health, Personal | , , , , | 1 Comment

Home again, home again…

Well, here goes another attempt at this.  I really let this blog slide.  SO much for my initial goals/hopes/etc.

At any rate, I am feeling much more motivated these days so I am determined to try again.  I have stopped taking my antidepressants – this is the second time I’ve done so, but this time, I actually feel better WITHOUT them!  Yay!  I’m clearer, more connected to people around me, and less suicidal!  All good things, I must say.  I think it was time to stop.

I’m exercising again and generally trying to get more rest.  I’m eating better and doing a better job caring for myself.  Yes, I do get caught up in computer games, some days more than I should, but I’m also doing the housework more frequently, cooking more, and just doing a better job of managing my life.  I hope I’ve stumbled back on the right path, after being off of it for so very long.

May 26, 2009 Posted by mmiller | Changes, Depression, Personal | , , , , , , | No Comments Yet

Being me? I’m not sure I want to…

What a weekend…the second in a row.  The majority of childcare, housecare, etc.  On top of insurance worries, behavioral issues and the like.

Can I be someone else now?  Please?

I’m doing the best I can but it feels so futile some times.  My three-year-old has behavioral issues with school – and at home – and its exhausting.  My one-and-a-half yearold has seizures and health issues.

I have done my best to keep my head above waters, but I’m so tired.

I’m just so tired.  I had a massage this weekend courtesy of a coworker of my husband’s – and half an hour later I was back where I was before I started.  Sigh.

April 5, 2009 Posted by mmiller | Children, Depression | , , , | No Comments Yet