I love my family. Don’t get me wrong. It is just that right now they all seem to be out to make sure I’m depressed…or insane. Whichever, apparently. Three days ago, my mother, in what should have been a simple, friendly conversation, calmly said something to me almost as an aside, that plunged me deep, deep, deep back into the depression that I thought I was working my way out of. I’m back on medication and I’m no longer feeling like jumping off the nearest bridge. (Can I just point out that if she thought she was helping, that is help that I can do completely without thankyouverymuch!)
Tonight my father called. He means well and most of the time our conversations are ok. Most of the time – notice that phrase. Tonight he again assumed that my son (our oldest) is autistic. He calmly told me that there is disability thing for Social Security for autism. He thought that would help us out. I paused. This is not the first time that he’s mentioned autism and our son in the same breath. This is also not the first time I’ve told him that our son has not been diagnosed as autistic and that i see no qualities in him (nor do his doctors) that indicate autism. I’ve got enough going on right now with my seizure-suffering daughter without him adding this. I’m just speechless.
Right now I have no desire to speak to either of my parents. And I’m living with my parent’s-in-law and that has its own set of issues. I’m going to be stark raving mad by the time we get through all of this crap, aren’t I?