Being Me…

I have been keeping a paper journal over the past month.  I’ve been writing in it mainly at night because that is when I have the most uninterrupted time.  My goal has been to keep it in the morning because I love to start the day with a little “me” time, and it helps me organize my thoughts for the day.  I don’t think that is going to work, but I did realize that since I type faster than I write, I might be able to blog each morning and perhaps this could serve the same purpose.  So…

As of today, I’m going to try to come up with one entry per morning.  Some may be complete “garbage” - if I can’t really come up with something even reasonably organized, if I’m just rambling about a lot of nonsense, or if I just think it is too personal.  Those days, I’m simply going to make the entry private.  Others that relate to the purpose of this goal or are more general, I’ll continue to post.

We shall see how this goes and if I can make time each morning.  I really need to get more organized with my time during the day.  I will have to do so if I get a job, but it would probably be good if I start the process before I get a job!

Well - time to make breakfast for my son!  The day is starting…

I’m a mother with two small children, so I don’t take as much crap as I used to.

Pamela Anderson

This really speaks to me right now. I’ve discovered a new backbone, one might say, since I had my two children.  I don’t know if it is simply that I’m too tired to put up with excessive silliness or pointless wastes of time, or that I’ve actually grown, but the end result is that I just don’t tolerate it anymore.  Well, my tolerance level for it is much, much lower now.  I’m not rude about it; I just simply stand up and say, “You know what?  That’s about enough of that!”

I’ve started drawing boundaries with my mother and stepfather, who seem bound and determined to drive me mad.  I swear it is just like having children; they’ve pushed me and pushed me and pushed me, like children trying to found out just how much they can get away with.  It is a wonderful thing to discover that I can indeed say, “Hey, enough!  This isn’t good for me and it is going to stop”, even to my parents.  Not only is the new me good for my mental health - it is giving me more self-respect.